#08EN: The one with the self tanner

I promised you fun stories from my eventful life as a Fairy and fun stories you shall get!

I’m not sure if there are any Friends fans out there among my readers, but if you haven’t seen the Friends episode where Ross gets a spray tan then please stop reading immediately and go watch that episode instead. I am not kidding. Watch it now.

Ok, now that everyone has seen it you all know how Ross gets a spray tan that goes awfully wrong (now I spoiled the episode for the few rebels who still didn’t watch it). Visualize it mentally as I am about to tell you my genius mishap. Imagine an extremely pale person suddenly turning about five shades darker than usual, just like Ross. How, you ask? Self tanner, that’s how.

It was the week before prom and the reason I did it was that I didn’t want to be the only pale girl in my prom dress. Being all of 17 years old at the time I took the little money I owned and bought the crappiest self tanning wipes. It said to just wiped them on (like make up removal wipes, but the other way around). Sounds easy enough, I thought, and started following the instructions to sunkissed skin.The results of such actions always take somewhere between a few hours to a day to fully materialize as your skin apparently needs to first soak up all the yummy chemicals from such products. 

When I woke up the next morning I was far from gorgeously tan, but very close to „My little sister painted make up all over my body and face!!“. Here’s the deal: once it’s on, it’s on! I can tell you from experience that at least some self tanning products cannot be showered off. Not with water, soap, shampoo, baby oil, body lotion or lots and lots of scrubbing. Since I had a doctor’s appointment to attend and the prom within that week I desperately needed to find some way to rid myself of the lovely color I had become.

After rubbing probably two liters of lemon juice all over my skin during that week I had somehow gotten most of the tan off, but you can imagine that my skin was not happy about all of it. Still, I managed to show up at the prom looking presentable, skin fair as always.

I would like to tell you that this was the only time I experimented with self tanner, but unfortunately that would be a lie. For now let me just say that I would rather spend a long time on truly coming to terms with my looks than to use massive amounts of products in order to alter them all the time.

Enjoy your skin the way it is and realize that it’s beautiful!

Love – The Fairy Pales


Ich will meinen Senf dazugeben

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